What I Worry About

This is one of those days when things are just as ordinary. My physiological countenance detects sources of stress from some tasks undone, though not as urgent. I wanted to write about what’s really happening to me, but I begin to think: what’s really going on with me?

At present I am worried about my youngest brother. At 30, he is still unstable, if it means having a high paying job to support a family. At present, he has a job that makes him happy, but just enough to feed himself. He gets into relationships, but nothing is permanent, if not fleeting. Our family thought that one girlfriend was good enough, but after some years, it did not work out solely because he was caught with another — who in my opinion is not worth it. But the crux of the matter is that his girlfriend is a single mother, and now at the brink of finding whether she is pregnant with his. This will surely devastate my mother — and of course, us — but what can I do? Sometimes I feel that I should spend more time with him, but at 30, he isn’t a little child anymore.

I am also worried about my former student who called me. He is in bad shape because of his girlfriend whom I know, who had a turbulent past. He said that it would be better to talk when I fly there next week. So I am anticipating a long chat with him as soon as my plane lands on the tarmac. The thing is: I came to give two talks for public school teachers and student leaders.

I am also worried about a colleague who is presently deciding to leave. I would miss him. That is the truth. He is a very close friend who loves to eat.

At the end of the day, I find myself thinking about one more. I would imagine how to end whatever we have, but couldn’t find the right time. And when opportunities to bump into each other come, I could not do it.

Often I wish everything is just about work. But no, all these things are more important to me. If not, I would not worry.